When my son was two years and change old, I had been hanging out with a friend with her son. Our boys didn’t act the same, even though they were the same age (prematurity notwithstanding). My kiddo seemed different, and he had for some time. My gut told me something was atypical about his development, beyond the hearing loss and cerebral palsy. By 3, my son was diagnosed with autism.

The most difficult thing for the world to accept about autism is autism.

It’s a spectrum diagnosis, so that means no one person presents in the same way, although there may be similarities. My kid can handle the noise of theme parks – surprising, really, given that he also wears hearing aids. However, you simply have to say you’re going to turn on an air bed pump and he hits full-on anxiety mode. Torran talks non-stop when you let him; others are completely non-verbal.

However you recognize the diagnosis, or however you mark autism awareness day, there’s one thing that is clear: people with autism have as much value and right to be in the world as anyone else.

Luckily, we’ve never had blatant derogatory or ableist commentary on our son. I’ve had people question my parenting, yes. But after I vent to my husband, I can cope. Our son is lovely and fun, caring and kind. But he often plays by himself.

However, he did get detention last week for farting with older boys in class, on each other. Props for neurotypical behaviour, kid!

When I look at our family photos, I see a young man whose facial expressions don’t always match the scene. Maybe we have a hand holding him in place so he won’t fidget or otherwise dash away (not out of fear, but because he just HAS TO MOVE). There is one thing that is very clear. He’s truly loved, no matter what milestones he does or doesn’t reach.

In so many ways, he is my hero… my giggling, mischievous hero who doesn’t fit anyone’s mold, including mine.

I’m no expert in the subject, and neither is he at this point. Together, our family is forging a path that works for us in a system that doesn’t, and in a world that can’t understand.

I truly believe that will change one day.

 

[With thanks to Talia Johnson for her input and sensitivity editing]